Saturday, October 23, 2010

Are We Compatible?

Relationship compatibility questions come up pretty often with people, and no wonder considering the divorce rate. Problems can occur when choices are based on the subconscious desire to seek out the familiar relationship pattern learned from influential, childhood authority figures.

If the relationships were beneficial and enjoyable with these authority figures, any future attachments would be wonderful, too. However, people often have compatibility problems with them and a desire to resolve these issues, so they attempt to change the past by selecting the same type of dissimilar people for partners – and the conflict continues.

However, this situation will improve once people recognize that differences can be good and quit repeating their childhood role. As adults, people can stop reacting and start thinking before responding to a comment or situation.

Successful relationships require excellent communication, and with the greater the differences between the couple, the greater the work this is to obtain. When striving for understanding, it can be effectively accomplished with role reversal.

Role reversal is pretending to be the other person and calmly explaining his or her view for clarification, which means NO sarcasm, judgments, insults, etc. Another method is to strive for discernment by asking and answering information-gathering questions for insight and acceptance.

Along with communication, people must have a foundation upon which to build their relationship. The basis for this support is mutual acceptance, respect and values because people need to not only love each other but like each other, as well.

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